I need to write more. Plagued with the “What should I write about? Who wants to read that? I can’t say that. Can I?”
The: “I don’t feel like it. Maybe tomorrow. This week & I’m serious”…then becomes “Before the week is out.” “Crap, I haven’t written anything in 3 weeks!” Followed by self-loathing. As the voice in my head grumbles softly…”And you’re supposed to be writer. Hmph…”
But you know what?
Any good writer worth his or her salt knows that until you’ve experienced writer’s block or a serious case of procrastination, you haven’t even begun to write. That’s the best part. The good shit is coming after that!
12:05 a.m. Up wishing I wasn’t up. Well kind of. I’d rather be up writing than doing anything else, unless it’s doing something else…but that’s two totally different ball games! 😉 Pandora has not been cooperating with me tonight. I was fully intent on being amped! Listening to Today’s Hits & all that kept playing was love music. “Girl..I love you. Do you love me? Sugar, honey, ice tea, flowers…..la la la la.” Like no. I’m trying to not think about the things I don’t want to think about. Like that very topic. After the third song, I just gave up. So now Sara Bareilles, Hope, & Corinne Bailey Rae are vibing out. Smh & Lol I guess the universe had other plans.
Now I’m listening to some song about Running Away With My Love…That would be nice as long as I’m coming with it. Don’t steal my shit & run off. I would not like that.
I miss it. Love that is. Sometimes. Once a month. Yeah, I’m pretty sure. That’s good enough. I’ve been single long enough to know I like “like” way better. It’s cute. It’s fun. It’s flirty. It’s safe. It’s comfy like a new pair of Hanes undies. Snuggle right in that. I don’t need some fancy, lacey Vicky Secrets. I mean yes, they look very appealing & intriguing. Makes you think, “I want a pair of these”. Now, you have to take out time to find the perfect pair. Perfect color. Are they cute? Is it sexy? Where am I going with these? I have to save these for a special occasion. Is this out of my price range? I’ll charge it & pay for them later. Hold up, What’s all this extra sh&% on here? Is this lace & mesh & bows & a zipper? Why is there a zipper? Which hole do I step in? I’m just going to sit here until I figure this out. Let me ask my friends what they think? Do you like these? Yes?! No?? Dang it, You’re no help!
This is too complicated. I just wanted something cute & simple. But now, I’m here making sure the lace is sitting just so, so it doesn’t snag up in my crotchal areas. Now, I have to readjust so the back evens up with the front..but I still see plumber’s crack peeking out of the top. Like shit. This is just not worth it! I’m going commando!
“Omg, Thank you Universe! I can breathe now! Whewwwww…” (Hearing the sound of the winds) Feel that? Feels like freedom. Why didn’t I do this before? Wait, it’s a little chilly. I need something to cover up with. Something comfortable to keep me warm. Ooh, look what I found? These comfy undies……
The saga continues.