Don’t know how I feel
It just don’t feel right
All the way fucking off
Nothing is that important anymore
Nothing worth the energy
I just don’t care.
It came to mind how we find distractions.
People, places, things.
Who do we/What do we use for our leisure, our pleasure, our sedation, our replacement to stay high
Away from the truth or the pain or missing someone or everyday reality
Afraid to feel so we numb
A sip here| A line there | Yet another warm body |
It seems like harmless fun and it is for awhile until the “fun” becomes habitual and repetitive.
When do we say no to ourselves?
As the new year came in, I thought of how many people would be spending their time getting blazed, lit to the skies–To celebrate the now, new year. How many people spend their days and nights staying in a constant state of euphoria, buzz, high? To deal. How many people spend time jumping from person to person, man, woman, or both…in search of a peace they cannot find, because its too difficult to deal with themselves? By themselves. With themselves.
No judgments. My hope is that we finally find a way to deal with what is, what was, and what now. To allow ourselves fun without fake. Happiness without the temporary high. That its no longer about being numb. Its about living a life worth feeling. Being fully present. That hey…maybe its okay to be a little high sometimes. High off life. And maybe an occasional, non-habit forming aid.