Game of Thrones…from a Non-Fan Perspective

Soo I had never heard of Game of Thrones until maybe 2 weeks ago. Apparently, It’s a big deal. Apparently, there is an entire novel series that I have not read. (Oops)

The reason I heard of this show is because I was at one of my friend’s house & she is an avid, slightly obsessive, Game of Thrones fan. So technically, I watched under duress. I tried to get into it; I really did. I watched that scary princess lady with the long white hair, which looked like a knock-off of that beautiful princess in Lord of the Rings. While it is a very elaborate story with plot twists, very eccentric characters, and lots of intense dialogue i.e. medieval whispering, I made a few observations whilst watching & decided to share these with my friend.

Note: She couldn’t keep a straight face when she read my “serious” questions about her show. The look on her face, a puzzled, inquiring look. Like “How do you not understand the awesomeness of this show?”

Of course, my mind goes to weird, ridiculous places & I had simple questions to a seemingly complicated story line….

#1 Where are all the Black people? Cleaning up?

Looks like a Too Black, Too Strong fist to me! Close enough.

Looks like a Too Black, Too Strong fist to me! Close enough.

Yes, I know I’m not the only Black person who looks for Black people in their television programming. Just to see if we’re being represented. The funny thing is I will still watch regardless of the race of people represented. Ex. Big Bang Theory, Amy Schumer, Modern Family & I could keep going…) Good tv is good tv!

My friend explained to me: There were no Black people in Medieval times. They would have still been in Africa….Whatever. Jesus had wooly hair & a tan. You mean to tell me he didn’t put black people everywhere. And yes it maybe racist to say they’re somewhere cleaning up but in quite a few movies, that’s where they are. I didn’t invent the stereotypes but I can mock the ridiculousness of them.

#2 Who thought it was okay to put that little boy in charge of a WHOLE kingdom? Child labor laws?

Yeah, He looks like a serious ruler...

Yeah, He looks like a serious ruler…

As history has shown, There have been many a child that has reigned over a kingdom. That has long been a tradition of monarchy. I get it. Now, Does he look apt to lead an entire kingdom of people & make adult decisions? I’m not quite sure. What happens when he hits puberty & hates everybody for no reason?

#3 That platinum blond chick needs her eyebrows arched. 

Daenerys Targaryen. Beautiful...until you look up.

Daenerys Targaryen. Beautiful…until you look up.

This is all based on 2014 beauty standards. Her brows need a visit to the nearest Eyebrow Threading shop. The bushy brow thing must have been ALL THE RAVE in those days but honey, it won’t hurt after the first couple of times. If not, rock that natural look girl. Or at least brush them…

#4 If they had electric bills in Game of Thrones’ times, would their bill be high? Look at all the candles they’re burning!

See what I mean.

See what I mean.

Granted a castle or such would be dimly lit, because it’s a castle. You would need a torch or lantern to navigate your way through the dark corridors. I get that. But! Do you need 2300 candles burning in each corner, crevice, doorway, walkway, galley way, subway…sorry I kept rhyming — bedroom, great room, feasting hall, where the rats take a piss section of the castle. No one’s even over there. Had I lived in those times, I’m almost positive I would have been either unequivocally fearless or scary as hell. I grew up in the country. It’s dark. You never know what is lurking in the shadows. That’s why you run real fast to where you need to be. Being energy efficient is important! Stop wasting candle-tricity! Blow some of those things out!  Let’s rhyme together now: “3 candles might be nice, but 2 candles would suffice.” All I’m saying.

#5 I guess the reason they all look dirty is because they live in the woods?

Could be the dusky light hitting against their skin or could be grime.

Could be the dusky light hitting against their skin or could be grime.

My friend let me know. “They don’t live in the woods. They live in the village.” That is nice. I’ll have to take a look at them again.

My only point: They look dirty. Taking one bath a day (maybe) in a foot tub. All that dirt flying up on you from fighting will do that to you.

#6 If you have super powers, why are you sitting their still being held hostage? Do something! Morph! Yell pineapples! Geez.

"You know you are magic.  yet you hold out. You sir, sucketh with vigor.

“You! You know you have magic powers, yet you hold out. You sir, sucketh with vigor…”

It was explained to me that they boy in question, call him Mordarg or Jason, I don’t know what his name is, does not have super powers. It is just a natural gift he has where he can control people’s thoughts & take over there bodies??? So could he not have taken mind control over his captors & made them kill themselves or free everybody. It makes logical sense. Clearly, this show is not made for logic but for mysticism & a vivid imagination. Sounds like super-power to me. I can’t do that. The most I can do is guess what color shirt you had on yesterday. If I control what you think & do, I would call that super! But okay….gift. Whatever.

If you have not figured out, I did soo not take this show seriously. However, I was thoroughly entertained even if in my own ridiculous mind. Lol I may one day take the time to learn the characters & the actual story. Right now, I don’t have the attention span nor interest to do so. I think I’m going to watch it again…just because. Inquisitive & sarcastic by nature, I have TONS more questions!

Note: If you are a Game of Thrones die hard fan, you will not find this remotely funny. If you are not, you may be as amused as I am. Happy Watching! Winter is coming!


One thought on “Game of Thrones…from a Non-Fan Perspective

  1. Lol you had me cracking up with your “review” of this movie. Although like you I’m not a big fan of the show, your confusion of mixing Medieval times with modern times is hilarious!! Pick one era and run with that. Maybe you can either love or hate the show a bit better. HAHA!!

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